Alafea’s Story…

My Journey…

Today I am at peace with who I am and my life’s journey thus far, but, I didn’t start out that way. I have ‘transcended’ from shame to proud, from unworthy to worthy, from insecure to secure, from ugly to pretty, from broken to whole, from confusion to clarity. You see I was that young girl who felt she was tarnished due to sexual abuse that started at age six.

I was the young girl who mourned after an absentee father. I was that young girl who felt her life did not matter and attempted suicide on several occasions throughout her teenage life. I was that young girl who was stalked by an older man and forced to have sex with him against her will. I was the 16-year-old who won a Fashion Model competition out of hundreds of contestants but felt so ugly inside and out that I did not have the drive or the tenacity to push forth in the fashion world.

I was the girl who searched hard for love and validation in the opposite sex.

I was the girl that had her first child at nineteen. I was the girl who grew into the woman that stayed in toxic relationships because I never understood my worth. I was the woman who stayed in a highly abusive marriage because I thought it was best for my children. I was the woman that gathered the strength to leave her marriage only to end up in another 3-year toxic relationship.

Yes, I was that woman who got her degree in Guidance & Counselling, her Teaching Diploma but still couldn’t get her head straight.

Who am I today?…

Today I am the proud mother of three amazing children and bonus Mom to two adorable kids.

Today I am a woman of substance, a woman who is worthy of authentic love, a woman whose inner beauty shines so bright its captivating.

A woman on a mission to break the cycle of abuse through empowerment, education and story-telling.

But best of all, today I am ‘A Woman of God’ who understands her purpose in this world.

Choose one of the following and get in touch. Let’s begin your empowerment journey today!


Speaking Topics

Abuse doesn’t have to be your normal

For many years I participated I toxic relationships both romantically and socially.  It never occurred to me that this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. “Normalizing” pain and hurt was my super power. This went on for many years until my mid-thirties. But this doesn’t have to be your story. No matter where you are on your journey, I am here to tell you that “Abuse doesn’t have to be your normal”…

Breaking the cycle: I don’t look like what I’ve been through

“Why am I continually attracting the wrong people in my life?” “I probably deserve this…” “No one else is gonna want me…” “Why me?”
In this talk, I explore these questions and more while sharing my story (no holding back). I provide practical tips that you can adopt and begin your journey to break Free!

Time Management = Self-Care

The better you are at managing your time, is the more time you will have to focus on YOU – (adapted from Shaping Your Mindset Workbook). 
As professionals and caregivers, we tend to put ourselves last on the list so much so that Self-Care is seen as a luxury and not a need. When in fact it should be the other way around. To function as one’s best one must make themselves a priority. In this talk I share my journey and lessons learnt. You will get practical tips that you can implement in your lives immediately. 

Why We are a cut above the rest

Alafea talk on Breaking the Cycle at the She Is Conference held in Wuhan, China changed my life. Her testimony truly spoke to me as hearing her story and all the heartache she endured but yet somehow had the courage to remain hopeful blew me away! After Alafea’s session I decided to challenge myself to forgive me and to forgive others who have hurt me in the past. As keeping with what Alafea said “Forgiveness is for us not for them”. Now I can I can declare I’m free indeed, all that deadweight is gone!!


Nthatuwa Thejane

MBBS (Medicine), Wuhan University

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April 2021

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